You know what you should do… so why is it so hard?
Have you ever known exactly what you should do, but somehow still couldn't do it?
You know you should leave.
You know you should say no.
You know you should have the conversation.
You know you should stop putting yourself last.
And yet… something holds you back.
Often, that's because knowing something intellectually and knowing what is true for YOU are two very different things.
The voice of “should”
“Should” often comes from somewhere outside of us. It can come from family expectations, social conditioning, past experiences, fear, other people's opinions or the version of ourselves we think we're supposed to be.
I should be grateful.I should stay.I should try harder. I shouldn't feel this way.I should be able to handle this.
Sometimes "should" sounds very convincing. But underneath the “should” there can be another, quieter enquiry.
What do I actually want?
What feels true for me?
What am I feeling in my body when I imagine each option?
A little experiment
The next time you're faced with a decision, try putting aside what you think you should do.
Instead, imagine yourself choosing each option... Then notice:
Does your body soften or contract?
Do you feel relief, excitement or spaciousness?
Or do you feel heaviness, resistance or a sense of shutting down?
Sometimes it's simply the quiet sense that says: “This is what I need.”
This doesn't mean every uncomfortable feeling is a sign that something is wrong. Fear can accompany the right decision too. Learning to distinguish fear (should) from your inner truth (could) can be help you move forward in the direction you want to go.
Finding your own answer
Learning to hear your resistance, identify your needs and differnetiate between what is true to you and your fears, are somethings I explore in my counselling and coaching work.
Rather than telling you what you should do, I help you get underneath the noise — to understand the patterns, fears and beliefs influencing your choices, while also reconnecting with your own intuition and sense of self.
Because ultimately, your life needs to make sense to you.
And sometimes the most powerful shift isn't finding someone else's answer.
It's trusting yourself enough to find your own.
With warmth,
Adria
If you're at a crossroads at the moment and would like some support finding clarity, I currently have space for new counselling clients.
