Nurturing Healthy relationships can be the magical bi-product of exploring the essence of self-advocacy. By embracing this powerful concept, we can experience personal growth, resilience, and meaningful connections with others.
The Essence of Self-Advocacy:
Self-advocacy is all about showing up for ourselves, wholeheartedly. It begins with acknowledging and accepting our inner world, including our emotions and beliefs. Instead of avoiding or suppressing them, we learn to sit with them, process them, and integrate them into our self-perception.
This practice involves speaking up when something doesn't align with our values, setting and maintaining boundaries, and meeting our own emotional needs. It also means challenging limiting beliefs, pursuing our goals and dreams, and not allowing others' disapproval or discouragement to control or over-influence us. It also means that the longing for validation and porous boundaries can be healed and nurtured by taking time to identify what your needs are. "I love you honey, I just need some time out to recharge a bit, call you later tonight x"
What are your commitment to self/ needs?
Healthy Relationships and Self-Advocacy:
In healthy relationships, self-advocacy is not only welcomed but encouraged. It involves caring about what matters to each other and supporting one another without rescuing or taking on each other's pain. Communication is open and honest, with clear expressions of needs and limitations. "That sounds so big, my heart aches as I hear this, I feel myself wanting to fix it, what would feel supportive to you right now?"
What are your limitations in relationship?
Self-advocacy also means recognizing that reactivity is an individual responsibility. Each person stays present to their own feelings and needs while offering compassion to the other. Disappointment is acknowledged as a natural part of life, and self-regulation becomes a priority. "I can hear how my actions upset you, I am so sorry, that was not my intention, I wonder how we could have expressed this differently moving forward?
"We are often not upset for the reasons we think we are”
is a saying that suggests that reactivity in a relationship is not about the toilet seat or that they forgot to buy onions, it is more often about deeper feelings that deserve attention and acknowledgement both from you, and your partner, such as "I dont feel important". Another key in self advocacy in relationships is to not take the other person's upset personally, we can meet them in their anger or sadness and be curious about what else is going on underneath the discomfort but we do not need to internalize the upset. "Oh gosh this is so big, I can feel myself wanting to fight back because it feels like I have really done something wrong here, but can we talk this through a bit more, you are important to me and I want to know what is going on underneath the anger."
?What do you need to remember when in conflict
The gift of knowing ourselves, our needs and our cracks in self-advocacy allows us to identify our truth within relationships, so that we can support others with compassion when they are in their own pain and hold onto ourselves.
Self-advocacy empowers us to honor our needs, live authentically, and cultivate healthy boundaries and healthy relationships. By embracing self-advocacy, we create a space for personal growth, resilience, and meaningful connections. It is a journey of self-discovery, acceptance, and continuous learning. It is a dance of compassion for self and other, equally. "I love you and I love me, I want to support you, will you support me too?"
What is something you need to remember in realationship?
As we navigate the complexities of life, let us remember the words of Remi Pearson,
"No one gets to talk you out of what you need."
Embrace self-advocacy and embark on a path of self-empowerment and fulfillment.